Love and Responsibility Notes 1: Chapter I, Analysis of the Verb 'to Use' - The Person as the Subject and Object of Action

Chapter I : The Person and Sexual Urge
Analysis of the Verb to 'To Use'
pg 21- 24
The Person as the Subject and Object of Action

Definitions:
'Object' is congruent to 'entity'
BUT 'object' is related to 'subject'
BUT 'subject' is congruent to 'entity' - an entity which exists and acts in a certain way

THEREFORE, the world is composed of many subjects.

Every subject also exists as an object, an objective 'something' or 'somebody'

Man is 'somebody'! Unique only for Man, as other objects in the world are known as 'something'.

A thing is something that does not have intelligence nor life - inanimate object. You wouldn't call an animal or plant 'a thing'. At the same time, a person would not be called an animal, despite the classification of humans as a species Homo sapiens. Therefore, the term 'person' used to describe us, as we cannot be purely contained within the definition of purely being a member of the individual species. Instead, the term 'person' somehow conveys this greater meaning to the concept of a human, a "particular richness and perfection in the manner of his being".

The question is, why this distinction?
The first reason, which is the most obvious and simplest one, is that Man has ability to reason. We are rational beings, which no other entity in the world has.
*Boethius has this definition for a person: "An individual being of a rational nature (individua substantia rationalis naturae).

Persons are set apart from all other entities in the world because we have this characteristic of a specific inner self, an inner life. Even animals do not have such ability to reason. They may deceptively seem to have the ability, exhibiting characteristics of cognition and desire, as though they are striving for something, but no matter what, they are still driven by instinct.

In Man, however, cognition and desire acquire a spiritual character, thus assisting in formation of a genuine interior life which does not happen with animals.

Inner life means spiritual life; it revolves around truth and goodness.  Mainly, how to be good and to possess goodness at its fullest.

*Man does not only intercept messages which reach him from the outside world and react to them in a spontaneous or even purely mechanical way, but in his whole relationship with this world, with reality, he STRIVES TO ASSERT HIMSELF. his "I", and he must act thus, since the nature of his being demands it.

Man has the power of self-determination ,based on reflection, and ACTS FROM CHOICE, aka free will.

sui juris - man is his own master (because he possesses free will).
personality is alteri incommunicabilis - not transferrable. Therefore a person is unique and unrepeatable. Same as animals and plants right? No, because of the characteristic of free will.

More on self-determination: No one else can want for me. No one can substitute his act of will for
mine. The concept of 'I AM'. See, even when someone very much wants a person to want what he wants, he is still unable to make. He may persuade the person to want the same, but the person has the free will to decide whether he wants to want the same. This is the point where the impassable frontier between the two are most obvious and where a person is incommunicabilis.

Starting on Love and Responsibility

Decided to start reading Love & Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla (Pope John Paul II)... It's been on my to-read list for awhile now. Seeing as it's pretty difficult to understand, I'll be working on notes for myself to refer to.

Keeping this post to remind myself to work on it and hopefully be able to understand the book better. Would probably need multiple readings to understand and interpret the entire book. I need some good way of being accountable for finishing my readings, but I guess this will do for now.

Why is homosexuality not accepted by the Catholic Church?

A week or so ago, I came across this status update by my friend who wanted to voice out something about homosexuality. Her exact words were: 

"I feel the need to voice out something. Homosexuality should not be judged/sterotype as a mental disorder or an abomination! I believe in human rights and equality. You christians believe homosexuality is a sin because thats what the bible says. Times have changed, this is the 21st century and we should learn to adapt to changes. Why are we letting the bible be the guidelines to our lives? God loves all his child and if he loves his child, he should love them for who they are and not their sexuality. They choose who they want to be with, we should learn to accept it. Therefore my conclusion is whats so called "unnatural" in the bible is no longer valid"

I have written a piece which I hope would shed a little on the Catholic point of view regarding human sexuality & address the points which she raised, and I’m sharing it here and on Facebook, hoping that perhaps it may also provide some information to anyone who has similar ideas and might want to know a little more about the rationale behind the belief that homosexuality is a sin. It’s a really brief essay and my points are not really elaborated on in detail, but I have tried to put in as much content and basic background/ definitions as I can. My main reference book here is the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) and I have also referred to Sexual Chaos by Tim Stafford (1993). Well, here goes nothing!

We must first understand that all forms of sexual sin are wrong. Sexual sins include but are not limited to pornography, premarital sex and masturbation. These sexual sins stem from lust. To define it, “Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes” (CCC 2351).

Of course, society has however been changing to be more accepting of lustful acts. There is no longer a high regard for sexual intercourse as something sacred. It has gone on to the point where people want to engage in sexual relations without any mention of love and sexual activity is carried out purely for the sake of enjoyment (e.g. One Night Stands). The perception of marriage has also been distorted as well.

An extension of this disordered perception of sexual relations is the issue of homosexuality. It is widely known that in a homosexual relationship, there may be sexual activity occurring. But it will never be actual sexual intercourse. Rather, what occurs is mutual masturbation. “Masturbation is to be understood to be the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure” (CCC 2350). What is wrong with deriving sexual pleasure through masturbation then? It is because this actually “demeans the sexual relationship, which is meant to be a form of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love” (CCC 2352). True love should be wanting the good for the other. It is not meant to be a using of the other for your own sexual pleasure. Yes, humans were created with desires. Contrary to current beliefs that all desire is natural, unchangeable and healthy (with my limited knowledge on the subject), however, not all desire is good. “We must never presume that a desire-any desire, whether for sex or possessions or glory-is normal and naturally good” (Stafford, 1993). This is due to our fallen nature and original sin.

You may of course argue that sexual intercourse results in orgasms like how masturbation does and that there is no difference. I will not go into details but I will only say that this is a problem that the use of condoms have caused. There was already a 100% safe way of avoiding pregnancies – abstinence. Condoms were not created for that purpose, rather they were created so that Man could indulge his lustful desires, creating a whole new problem in itself.

With that said, we are all called to accept the rest of our brothers and sisters in the human race regardless of their sexual orientation. “They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfil God’s will in their lives, and if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition” (CCC 2358). I would like to point out that it is unfortunate, however, that people are being bullied and stigmatized for this. But this is the work of man, not God. Yes, God loves his children and wants the best for them but this does not mean condoning actions which are harmful to them. As St Augustine said, “Love the sinner, hate the sin”. This is exactly how we must approach this issue. It is like how a parent disciplines their child for doing something wrong (e.g. lying/stealing). Disciplining the child does not mean that the parent no longer loves him/her. The parent is condemning the bad behaviour (or sin), but not the child. We must look upon these homosexual desires like the many other hardships we have to face. Fighting homosexual tendencies are just like fighting heterosexual sexual urges. But it has become accepted (on a large scale) that indulging heterosexual sexual urges without the right situation, so the lines have become blurred with regards to sexual relationships. Rather than adapting to it, we need to clamp down on the rampant sexual promiscuity in heterosexuals first and establish the right way of how relationships among men and women are meant to be. Then, and only then, will it be clear that homosexual relationships are inappropriate. It is true that homosexuality should not be seen as a mental disorder or an abomination. We all have our crosses to bear, different people have different ones. And homosexual urges may just be the cross that some people have to bear. For our fellow brothers and sisters who are struggling with their sexual orientation, stay strong!

Modesty: The forgotten virtue that helps makes relationships beautiful

This video was shared during this week's Theology of the Body (TOB) class. I feel that there are many ideas that can be drawn from this. I'd like to share some of my thoughts on this, with a message for both guys and girls. Whilst I have split them into two separate sections for males and females, I believe that there's stuff mentioned that is applicable for both sexes. 

To all the ladies:

[I would like to urge all of you to put more thought into the way you are dressing. Not just in your swimsuits. None of this may not have occurred to you before, so I would like to invite you to ponder over it. By dressing provocatively/ revealing your assets, you will definitely get men's attention, whether you have done so with that intention or not. Sure, you get double takes from guys, and maybe some might want to get to know you better. But can you trust a man who is driven by his lust to know you? How do you verify the authenticity of his feelings for you? He may not even realize that lust within himself. Look at the women in those sexy magazines. There are so many beautiful women in those pages, but no matter how attractive they are, a man will still flip the page. I am pretty sure a man wouldn't spend more than a minute on each page. (This example is taken from Jason Evert, I only rephrased it a little).

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 2523,

"There is a modesty of the feelings as well as of the body. It protests, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements, or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies."

Modesty is meant to protect ourselves. Our bodies are beautiful and that's exactly why we have to protect them. Your dignity is worth so much more than lustful looks and thoughts by passing men. Protect yourself! That is true power. At the same time, understand that there will still be men who, no matter how modestly you dress, who will look at you in a degrading way. But know in your heart you have done the right thing and taken precautions to protect yourself.  Attract a man not by your body,  but by your personality, virtues and intellect. Those men who are unable to appreciate your true beauty, the inner beauty of your person, are not worthy of you anyway, so why waste your time? Allow a man to see and appreciate you in your wholeness as a person - body and soul. It is only when he is fully committed to you and has proven that all he does is for love, that it is fitting for both your clothes to come off. And that time will be in marriage.]

To the men:

[If there is ever a woman who doesn't know her worth, why not be the one to change that? Taking advantage of a woman because she doesn't know, that makes you less of a man than the one you were actually made to be. Rather, learn to love a woman like a sister. Then build a beautiful relationship upon that foundation. This would include protecting her at all costs. She may not be aware how she dresses incites lust within a man - that includes you. Let her know you appreciate her covering up. It is easy to look at scantily-clad women and let yourself be aroused but hard to control it. Being a real man, a man of love, means choosing to control your desires for the greater good of your woman. Your yes means nothing if you can't say no. Yes, true love demands sacrifice, but do not fear the demands of love. The rewards will be far greater than you could ever have imagined.]

Having said all of this, I also understand that it may be difficult to recognize the difference between love and lust but we all have to try. Take your first step towards purity and chastity. It's never too late. It's going to be a tough journey but it'll all be worth it. I, too, am on this journey and I acknowledge that there's many things I haven't mastered yet. But I'm taking steps to educate myself. I've taken my first steps, have you?

And if you're already on this journey, just keep going. What you're striving for is a beautiful thing, so don't doubt for one second that it is pointless. 

I end off in the words of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen:

"To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women." 

P.S. I nearly didn't get the chance to share this. As I was drafting this on my Facebook page, my computer suddenly had a Blue Screen of Death and I lost the whole post. So I had to start writing it again. But now, looking at it, it's so much better than my first draft. And I drafted it on a blog this time. I had initially planned only to write my thoughts and share them on Facebook, but now I'm posting it on a blog as well. Looks like second time's a charm huh? All of this was only possible by God's grace :)

P.P.S. Although I have written this with reflections based on my faith, I hope that non-believers can look beyond that and realize this applies to all men and women regardless of faith.